Living In Your Own Personal Hell On The Mats

I can't remember where I read this particular  article, but I believe it was in Graciemag. The author wrote a great essay on a seminar he had attended that  I believe was put on by Renzo Gracie.  In the esssay the author talked about how Renzo had said that sometimes in jiujitsu you must live in your own personal hell.  I think anyone that trains bjj knows the truthfulness of that statement.  There are those times when you are rolling with a training partner or in a competition and they essentially "put it on you" so to speak.  Perhaps its not your day and they are on point or maybe they are more technical then you or simply just bigger and stronger.  That time when you just want to tap out and quit is when you really see what your made of in my opinion.  The times when you cant get a lungful of air because they are crushing or choking you is the time when you decide to go away or stand your ground.  Now there is no shame in tapping, especially in a regular training session I have done it many times and will do it many more.  What I'm getting at is one's inner will to keep moving forward and to not fade before your opposition.  Being able to live in your own personal hell and keep moving forward in the fight is an attribute that I believe can be developed by anyone if they have the desire.  There is no substitute for a good work ethic and if one desire's to develop this then they will.  This is perhaps one of the biggest lessons I have learned to date from training jiujitsu.  I'm sure that I will learn many more.  I'm not ashamed to admit that there have been times when I am being dominated by someone more skilled then me that the thought has crossed my mind to just quit.  I mean why put myself through this? I'm actually paying some guy to choke, armlock,shoulderlock, and leg lock me.  These thoughts always come at a crucial point in the fight like when my training partner is attempting to get to the mount position or take my back.  It is at this point that I make conscious decision to stand my ground and continue to fight even if it feels futile.  Jiujitsu certainly is a mental game I would argue that perhaps the mental aspect is even greater then the physical aspect.  The point is that mental toughness must be developed and this is something jiujitsu teaches brilliantly.